Episode 44: Higher Power, by host, Laura Milkins. Our guest, Tina, tells the story of her depression and her decision to ween off medications. She explains how 12 step groups are crucial in this process. Sunday, November 27, 2016
Turning It Over – Ingrid Mathieu PhD (excerpts)
In the absence of instantaneous fixes and direction, I was faced with my humanity in a way that was almost excruciating. If I wasn’t aligning myself with something that I thought was “good,” and I was open to eventualities that I couldn’t see coming, that meant I was OPEN. Open to possibilities (and feelings of uncertainty and anxiety). Open to my vulnerability (and feelings of shame, grief and doubt). This meant that I really was powerless over people, places, things, my addiction, my personality, my LIFE―and this was frightening!
But there is good news. Being that open means experiencing the fullness of the present moment, of the great reality, and all of who I am and who I am becoming. I become less fragmented, which gives me greater compassion and the ability to make healthier choices. I’m less likely to swirl down in a shame spiral and more available to be honest with my friends and family. When control is underlying our attempt at surrender, the incongruence becomes more painful then the reality we are attempting to avoid. When we have to disavow aspects of ourselves in order to connect, that’s not real connection. When we have to jump through hoops in order to please, we aren’t in healthy relationship, we are being co-dependent (even with God). Surrender means bringing our whole selves to the table, and being open to whatever comes next, in whatever timing it arrives. That brings us to the third stop on this road to spiritual development.